Hunting trip

They say if you are traveling at night you can see the star of Bethlehem. I seen it a couple of times. You have to look right at it and then look away then real quick, look back and sometimes you can see it. Its not a real big thing but it is something you might put on your tombstone or a tattoo or somethin'. A long time ago I was huntin' big cows in the Arkansas territory and I seen a big cow that weren't really a cow. It were huge and I'll be the first one to tell ye that I was a little scared. It was about twice the size of a normal cow and had big eyes that just glared right through you. I tried to stand real quiet and hope that the beast would think I was a tree or big pig or somethin' I shore didn't want it to think I was dinner. Well the cow monster just stood there and looked at me and I really could not tell if it saw me or not but I was shaking so bad it were only a matter of time before it charged. Well Bossy began to paw the ground and snort and I knowed it was only a few minutes till it stomped me into the Arkansas dirt and nobody would ever find what he didn't eat of me. I was not looking forward to this and probably should have been working on a plan to get me out of there in about the same shape as what I went in. I might have already been a little less heavy since I had just wet and soiled my pants and that embarrassed me. Well my present plan of just standing there while he kicked my head off was not a good one and while I have always been able to think on my feet I could come up with nothing. The mean mountain of a cow started at me but miraculously stopped a foot or two from my running nose and just looked at me like he was trying to decide if I were edible or not. He kept snorting his ugly nose like he thought I smelled like manure.....which of course I did. Apparently this particular big cow had some upbringing that told him that manure did not taste good and tasted bad and had absolutely no food value unless you were a bug or some such. He finally turned around and slowly walked away and never once looked back or at least I do not think he looked but I don't know as I were running as fast as my feets could take me. I did not know where I was going but it did not matter as any other place was better than where I was at the time. I made it down to a country road and surely enough an old couple came by in their Packard car and picked me up. I was telling them my awful story when the old man stopped the big car and told me to get out. I figgerd he thought I was making it up although I do not know what I could gain by making it up unless he thought I was next going to try to sell him a big cow. It was not until later that I realized that they were probably the ones who had upbrung the big cow and they did not like the smell of manure any better than the beast.