Hunting trip

They say if you are traveling at night you can see the star of Bethlehem. I seen it a couple of times. You have to look right at it and then look away then real quick, look back and sometimes you can see it. Its not a real big thing but it is something you might put on your tombstone or a tattoo or somethin'. A long time ago I was huntin' big cows in the Arkansas territory and I seen a big cow that weren't really a cow. It were huge and I'll be the first one to tell ye that I was a little scared. It was about twice the size of a normal cow and had big eyes that just glared right through you. I tried to stand real quiet and hope that the beast would think I was a tree or big pig or somethin' I shore didn't want it to think I was dinner. Well the cow monster just stood there and looked at me and I really could not tell if it saw me or not but I was shaking so bad it were only a matter of time before it charged. Well Bossy began to paw the ground and snort and I knowed it was only a few minutes till it stomped me into the Arkansas dirt and nobody would ever find what he didn't eat of me. I was not looking forward to this and probably should have been working on a plan to get me out of there in about the same shape as what I went in. I might have already been a little less heavy since I had just wet and soiled my pants and that embarrassed me. Well my present plan of just standing there while he kicked my head off was not a good one and while I have always been able to think on my feet I could come up with nothing. The mean mountain of a cow started at me but miraculously stopped a foot or two from my running nose and just looked at me like he was trying to decide if I were edible or not. He kept snorting his ugly nose like he thought I smelled like manure.....which of course I did. Apparently this particular big cow had some upbringing that told him that manure did not taste good and tasted bad and had absolutely no food value unless you were a bug or some such. He finally turned around and slowly walked away and never once looked back or at least I do not think he looked but I don't know as I were running as fast as my feets could take me. I did not know where I was going but it did not matter as any other place was better than where I was at the time. I made it down to a country road and surely enough an old couple came by in their Packard car and picked me up. I was telling them my awful story when the old man stopped the big car and told me to get out. I figgerd he thought I was making it up although I do not know what I could gain by making it up unless he thought I was next going to try to sell him a big cow. It was not until later that I realized that they were probably the ones who had upbrung the big cow and they did not like the smell of manure any better than the beast.

Come back Harry and give 'em Hell again!

As I look out on the problems facing our nation I cannot help buy think that what this country needs more than any weapon or any amount of wealth is a return of Harry Truman to the political scene. Those of us old enough to remember his time in power weep nostalgic for those days of glory and no nonsense. ( I of course do not recall but my much older sister has told me about those days) This was a time when the mere fact you were an American citizen almost guaranteed that you would be treated with respect or your tormentors would suffer the consequences of Harry sending his cavalry after the transgressors. We had problems galore and some of them are still here but there was never any doubt that the little fighter from Independence would take swift and strong actions to stop the transgressions and try to contain them. Surely all Americans must long for the man who fought the Russians (and whipped them) in Berlin with the Berlin airlift which brought food and medicines to the starving citizens of that city. This despite the efforts of the Russians to enforce a blockade designed to prevent anything from entering the city. Harry flew over the blockade with Army Air Force bombers filled with life saving products. When the North Koreans invaded South Korea in defiance of all rules and morals of the time Harry had the U.S. Marines there the next morning. The Army was also on the way. He then asked the UN and congress for permission to do what he had already done. Ask Douglas MacArthur what he thought about this President. Ask John L. Lewis and the coal miners what they thought when Harry seized their mines and drafted the miners into the army and gave them one order. Mine the damn coal! He also did the same with the railroads and the employees of the railroads. His rationale? NATIONAL SECURITY!! His power he derived from his oath as President when he swore to insure the continued existence of our country. His personal approval ratings sank to new lows at the time but as time passed and history recognized that he was right his approval ratings now have him close to the top of American Presidents. If he were only here now I believe he would have Osama Bin Ladens scalp hanging in the white house. I do not think we would be concerned with what spin each candidate put on his daily mistakes. Harry would admit to making a mistake and would then go about correcting it. Of all the sayings we remember that came from Harry my favorite (and the one that best explains this simple man) is "There is no limit to what a man can accomplish if he does not care who gets the credit.!" Come back Harry and soon........the times call for you now.

Lewis Jernigan
confused grouch
curmudgeon

The political scene from Hell

I now take pen in hand to try and express my indignation at the current political scene. I do not know how venom will translate into the typed word but will attempt to appear lucid anyway.



I have become more and more disillusioned with each new bulletin from the Billary camp. It seems there is no level too low for these people to sink. I admire their political strength and expertise but fear it is gravely misplaced. I consider President Clinton to have been one of the most intelligent men to ever occupy the White House and absolutely the most astute politician we have ever seen. Any man who can survive the sexual and moral quandaries this man apparently lived has to be a politician of uncharted grandeur. I have no doubt that if he was constitutionally eligible he could be re-elected again and again. If he was forced to campaign from his prison cell he could still convince enough people to vote for him that re-election would be a certainty. His alter ego and long suffering wife has pinned her hopes on becoming the first female President we have ever seen on her "valuable experience" gained as first lady. Her chances are good because she will gain the votes of most women and nearly all democrats purely because of her affiliation with Bill. There are I fear enough voters who will think that (1) they are actually voting for Bill and (2) that he will actually be running the country with her as a figurehead. Her strongest competitor from within the democratic party seems to be from Senator Obama of Illinois. He is blessed with good looks and a charismatic personality and the oratorical skills of the Rev. Jackson. His knowledge of things political is limited to what he can glean from the writings and musings of the aforementioned Jackson and the Rev. Sharpton and the inspirational thoughts of Sen. Teddy of Massachusetts. I may vomit. The sins and evils these two united in marriage demagogues have visited on us is hard to calculate. I have done quite a bit of research and can state that these two are resonsible for global warming.